Mon 9 APR

“I want to learn how to do makeup,” I told Radhika.

We were sitting in the kitchen, having lunch. Me–Asian cabbage salad. Her–roti with curry duck, pumpkin, channa, and aloo. We’d fallen into the habit of eating together when she didn’t have a noontime booking (which was most days).

Even the kitchen was designed à la Obadiah Cortland. Matte black cabinets were juxtaposed with white backsplash. A matte black faucet blossomed from a blazing white sink. The microwave was sable, artfully positioned on the white open shelving. It looked like a picture frame for food instead of an appliance.

“You do great makeup,” Radhika said.

“Oh please. Not compared to Friday. Did you see me?”

“That was after Oby did your face, and he’s the God of Good Looks.”

“You don’t think I could learn to do that?”

Radhika scooped up a dollop of pumpkin with her roti and dipped it lightly in the curry duck sauce. “What do you want to learn?”

“Everything.” I imagined being the woman Obadiah Cortland had made me, every day of my life. A fantasy popped in my head: I strolled into a coffee shop, porcelain-smooth face, rosy lips, and Eric looked up from the book he was reading. I didn’t see him, but he saw me and thought, My God, look at Bianca Bridge.

“To put on a face like that every day is time consuming. Wouldn’t you rather spend your time doing something else?” Radhika asked.

I thought of my novel, still only thirty-five pages long.

I thought of myself after Obadiah Cortland had done my face.

“I’ll still have time to do other things,” I hem-hawed. “Besides, maybe...people...would notice me more if I looked…nicer.”

Radhika froze, her fingers just above her roti. I wondered whether it was so transparent that I was fantasizing about Eric. I felt the hot flush of shame. “Maybe you shouldn’t care about other people who only notice you if you beat your face every day.” Radhika tore off another piece of roti, but she just used it to push some channa to one side.

“Dante is starting a Beauty for Beginners session next week,” she said hesitantly when she saw my disappointment. “One of our finishing school-type things. Posture, dress, but also makeup. Why don’t you ask if you can sit in?”

“I think I will,” I said, maybe too cheerfully. I couldn’t understand why she was treating this so seriously.

“And I can have some makeup tutorials with you too, if you’d like that.”

“Of course!”

Radhika finally grabbed a single piece of channa with the roti. “Bianca, this might sound like generic nonsense, but you know you are beautiful already, right?”

I was so surprised that I didn’t say anything. I’d once thought I was good-looking. But these days, I honestly didn’t think that at all.